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16 May 2014 @ 02:10 pm
I guess...  
... This is me returning to LiveJournal. I've actually been reading entries on my list off and on but I haven't gotten around to actually making a post.

We lost little Amelia on April 3rd at 27 weeks due to a cord issue. I hadn't felt her move at all in a few days which was very unusual as she was a very active baby and loved to wiggle and kick basically all day. My doctor did the ultrasound and told me there was no longer a heartbeat. I didn't cry at first, I'm pretty sure I was in shock. It wasn't until I was at the hospital getting ready to deliver that it started to hit me as the contractions started to come in. It was a pretty quick labor, but that might've been because I was so full of painkiller I could barely tell I was pushing at all. My husband stayed by my side the entire time, and after she was born early the next morning we got a few hours alone with her which was nice. The hospital gave us a box with keepsakes in it from the labor as well, though I haven't gone through it at all.

It's been 6 weeks and I've gotten a lot of my grief out (mostly on twitter, as some of you know) and my husband has been the most amazingly supportive man and I'm so thankful for him every day. We support each other ultimately and I don't know where I would be without him. We're starting to think about trying to get pregnant again very soon, in fact. It feels right, and I can only go with my gut feeling on this.

At the moment my main concern is the fact that my city and pretty much all surrounding cities are on fire! There's about 8 total burning in San Diego county but thankfully we haven't had to evacuate just yet (though the power just came back on after it being off for a day and a half). At the moment the fire on Camp Pendleton is the most threatening to us but we seem to be out of harms way for now, besides inhaling a bunch of smoke and crud. They're saying all the fires are the work of arsonists considering it's unusual for 8 fires to pop up in the same county on the same day PLUS they're all pretty equal distances apart. Pretty fishy.
Current Mood: hothot
mrs_kaytemrs_kayte on May 17th, 2014 12:02 am (UTC)
I'm so so sorry. I guess you saw on my journal that I lost my William on March 22 at 23 weeks. The loss is incomprehensible. Amelia was going to be William's name if he had been a girl.

We got a box too- the hardest part about having William was leaving the hospital with a box instead of a baby. I also held my son but he didn't look good because he had passed the week before. </p>

My thoughts are with you and your husband. I hate that we have this in common but I'm here if you need me. Take care of yourself.

Heatheraverdepois on May 17th, 2014 12:52 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry about William. <3

What an awful thing to have in common, you're so right. That was indeed the hardest part - to leave the hospital no longer pregnant and without my little girl. She looked okay thankfully, she had only passed a few days before I delivered her. She lives on though, in memory and so does William. <3